To Be a Good Parent

This past Monday, Gavin and I stood in line for over 5 hours to get the H1N1 vaccine. After reading pretty much everything I could get my hands on, and hearing several stories of what could happen if either of us did catch H1N1, it was a no-brainer. Whatever potential side effects there might be from the vaccine (and so far = none), the real possibility of severe illness or death far outweighed the those theoretical risks.

I know a lot of people who are still choosing not to get the vaccine, despite all of the evidence that it's safe. Of course, it is their right to make the decision that they feel is best for their child. It may be that either or both of my children will experience side effects as a result of getting the vaccine. I would hope that if that happens, that they understand that I made the decision I thought was best for them given the information that I had.

And I suppose that last sentence sums up what parenthood is and why it can be so scary. It doesn't take much searching to find stories of adults who were forever scarred by their parents and sometimes a seemingly innocuous decision can come back to haunt you forever.

Right now Gavin has a cough. I'm pretty sure it's not the flu because he's not displaying any other symptoms, but he's had it for a few days so I think we should get it checked out. I called our family doctor today to see if we could get in, but his next opening wasn't until November 9. I decided to go to the Medicentre but the wait at that time was over 2 hours so we left. I keep checking on him regularly to make sure he's still breathing, that he's not becoming short of breath or developing a fever, any of the signs that it might be something more serious. I hope I'm not doing him further damage by not getting him examined by a doctor, but I'm trying to use common sense too.

I'm using the information I have to try to make the decision that would be in his best interests. I just hope it's enough.

Little Moments

So life's been a bit crazy these past few weeks.

First, my family was in for Thanksgiving, then two days after that was over Murray, Gavin and I flew to Ottawa to visit my sister Alex. There have been a few times when I've sat down to post, but then something comes up and it never gets done. Story of my life, really.

Ottawa was really nice. I hadn't been there in over ten years, and even then it was a quick daytrip while I was staying in Montreal. I'd never stayed in the city proper. Alex has lived there for over three years already and, seeing as she's finished school this year (hopefully) and doesn't know where she's going to end up, going to visit here was kind of a "now or never" proposition.

We had great fall weather while we were there. The mornings were cool, but the sun was out every day. We did all the usual tourist-y things: Parliament Hill, the Museum of Civilization, Byward Market, and the National Gallery. I would have liked to see Question Period while we were on the Hill, but it was a constituency week so all of the MPs were out of town. Oh well. It probably would have annoyed me more than anything anyway. A good friend of ours took us out to the Gatineau Hills the afternoon before we left. I wish we could have had more time to explore the different trails there, but it's not like I could do too much physical activity. I'm excited for this baby to be born, but not quite yet.

All in all it was really nice trip, a good break before the baby comes and life gets crazier than we can imagine right now. My absolute favorite moment happened the morning before we left. Murray wanted to go back to Parliament Hill (it was a short walk from our hotel) and let Gavin run around on the lawn. It was a beautiful morning; the sky was clear and sunny and there was no wind. Gavin would throw his ball to me and I would gently lob it back. We went back and forth for awhile until another little girl came up and wanted to play. There was a bit of a scuffle over proper ownership of the ball (the little girl wouldn't give it up), but it ended without any violence. Then Gavin noticed some birds flying around and tried to chase them. Murray went after him and they alternated between chasing birds and throwing the ball. I just stood there and watched my husband and little boy running around and was filled with contentment. It was as perfect a moment as I could imagine.

The Late, Great Opt-Out

There have been a lot of articles lately on whether the so-called "Opt-out Revolution" - where educated women apparently left the workforce in droves to be stay-at-home or work-at-home mothers - actually took place. See here and here to get an idea of the discussion. A new blog that I've found also offers some interesting commentary on the subject.

I know very few SAHMs who didn't intend for it to be that way. They are, for the most part, intelligent and educated, but having an outside career was never as important to them as being able to stay home and look after their family. Some of them find ways to contribute to the family bank account by investing in a home-based business, becoming consultants for Avon or The Pampered Chef or other similar companies, but it's more of a hobby than a business. They are living their dream.

I also know a lot of moms who enjoyed maternity leave, but who were happy to get back to work when their time was up. It's not that they spent a lot of time and money on their education (although that's often true), or that they don't like spending time with their toddlers (definitely not true). They crave the intellectual stimulation and - almost always - really really love their jobs.

Most common, however, I think are the moms who were in jobs that were just "okay", ones where the work wasn't very fulfilling. These are the women who said, "If I'm going to be spending time away from my children, it better be for something good." I think that if we've seen a proliferation of anything over the past few years, it's been of the Work-at-Home Mom, or the Mompreneur; in other words, the Mom that's taken her future and her children's future into her own hands. These women have realized that the only way they will achieve all of their personal and professional goals is if they are the boss.

And if that's the case and women are choosing to chart their own course, then what are they really "Opting-out" of anyway? Rather than looking at it in those terms, terms which imply that women are running away or escaping from something, why don't we look at it as creating a new economy? Given the state of the economy we have now, maybe a few changes are in order. Maybe opting-out isn't such a bad idea after all.

(Thanks to Laurie at Mobile Mommy for leading me to the Becky & Hollee post)

Decisions, decisions

I am currently 29.5 weeks pregnant. Like my last pregnancy two years ago, I have been feeling pretty good, with no morning sickness or other complications. My blood pressure is low, the ultrasounds have shown a healthy baby, and even my weight gain has been on track. Unlike my last pregnancy, this one coincides with what has the potential to be the biggest public health crisis in history: the H1N1 flu.

It being October, the time has come for the regular seasonal flu shots. Pregnant women have always gone to the front of the line for those and in 2007 I had no qualms about getting the vaccine. I have little hesitation about getting the regular flu shot this time too (I did not get it last year, when I was not pregnant). It is the H1N1 vaccine that has me vexed.

Given the potentially devastating consequences of what could happen if I do contract the virus, it makes sense that I get the vaccine, but part of me is concerned with how fast it was developed, not to mention the fact that pregnant women have not been included in any trials to date. On the other hand, dying from a disease that could have been prevented is not exactly at the top of my list of Things to Do. Just how easily the disease could be contracted was driven home a couple of weeks ago when Murray came home from an ultimate Frisbee game with the news that one of his teammates - someone he had played with the previous week - had since come down with the swine flu. At the time Murray was showing signs of a bad cold, which was apparently how the flu first manifested itself in his teammate, so we were pretty concerned. It turns out Murray just had what could best be described as allergies and we were all clear, but it was stressful nonetheless.

Still, I hesitate. The most likely scenario is that the baby will be born before the vaccine becomes widely available anyway, although I might still have a few weeks to go. I just want a healthy baby. I hope that is not too much to ask.