The Best We Can

So yesterday, the Minister of Finance for our provincial government, Iris Evans, was quoted as saying the following at at speech given to the Economic Club of Canada in Toronto:

(Speaking about her own children) “They’ve understood perfectly well that when you’re raising children, you don’t both go off to work and leave them for somebody else to raise. This is not a statement against day care. It’s a statement about their belief in the importance of raising children properly.”

She has since clarified her remarks, but in the meantime, has stirred up quite the uproar. (note the 1262 comments on this article on cbc.com)

Personally, I am tired of this whole debate about whether it's better for kids to have one parent stay at home or to have both kids working, or if families where both parents work are doing irreparable harm to their kids. I am even more weary of feeling defensive about my decision to work outside the home and being made to feel like I'm not as good of a mother because that was my decision. Because, you see, even the people who defend working mothers (and while I know that there are more and more stay-at-home dads out there, this is still primarily a "mother" issue) most often justify their decision by saying that they have to work, that if they had a choice, they would be home too.

In our family, it's mostly economics that has led to both of us working, but there's also a personal fulfillment aspect too. Both of us worked hard in university and we each have two university degrees. I enjoy the intellectual challenge that my job presents and I think that being out in the workforce makes me a better mother. I don't think that women who choose to work, even when they could stay home, should be made to feel like they're bad mothers for making that choice.

I think that what we need to do is quit judging each other and realize that we're all doing the best we can for our families. For some families that means that one parent stays at home, for others it means that both parents are working. And what does raising kids "properly"mean anyway?

My main goal as a mother is to make sure that my children know that they are loved and cared for. I think I can do that and still work and if it ever got to the point where that was in issue, then we would have some decisions to make. I try to make sure that the time I spend with my son is "quality" time. We read books and sing songs together, go for walks, take swimming lessons, and sometimes we just play. I guess what I want is for my kids to feel like Taylor Swift does in her song, The Best Day. Here's the video.